Welcome to My World of Motherhood and Conscious Parenting Mission
Hi there! Welcome to my world of motherhood. I’d like to share a little bit about my journey before diving into what I hope to accomplish here.
I’ll start from the very beginning. I’ve always known that I would like to have children someday but took my time to focus on my career first before starting a family. We had our first child, Maya, after being married for 5 years, which gave both Bilal and I some time to explore the world and mature as adults.
I had a relatively normal pregnancy, aside from the severe nausea at first. We had purchased a new (pre-construction) home way before even trying to conceive and it was coincidentally going to be ready the same week as my due date! So the most notable events during my pregnancy were stress from work, selling our current home, moving into a temporary rental while waiting for our new home to be ready, a few health scares along the way and my fear of giving birth (due to having a low pain tolerance). So needless to say, I was quite stressed and anxious all through my pregnancy.
Thankfully our new home was completed 3 weeks before the closing date and that allowed us to move in and unpack before the baby arrived. I remember having my hospital bag ready in the car on moving day in case the baby came early.
Until I became a mom, I was a major planner. I mean I still try to plan my day, week, month, year, decade……you get the point. But after having my second child, I have fully accepted that most of my plans are at the mercy of my kids and some days, absolutely nothing goes my way!
My first child, Maya was born almost 9 lbs in weight and I had a petite frame, so needless to say, the last trimester and giving birth were not “comfortable” in any stretch of the word! Oh, the tales I could tell about those last few weeks and my 16 hours of labour! But I’ll spare those details.
Now looking back, aside from my struggles with breastfeeding, my motherhood journey was pretty smooth with Maya. Would you believe me if I told you that she rarely cried? I can’t remember her crying about anything, except when she got hurt.
She was the calmest little boo I have ever met in my life. It required some effort putting her down to sleep every day, but that’s because she has a major case of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). Otherwise, she was pretty much an angel baby. She was sleeping almost 8 hours straight at night at 2 months of age! My second child, Emma is 2.5 years old and still doesn’t sleep that long in one stretch!
My second pregnancy was less stressful than the first one. We had settled into our new home, I was more settled into my job, Maya was growing into a wonderful, articulate, independent and curious 3-year old. She was enrolled in a few different activities but we managed to fit them into our weekly schedule. We had finally gotten a handle on life.
I felt like I was thriving as a mom.
I still remember going out for dinner on my birthday just before Emma was born and this dad at the restaurant who was struggling to keep both his kids entertained looked over at our table and said, “Just wait till you have the second one, two is definitely more than double the work!” Boy, was he ever right!!
Overall I didn’t have too much to complain about life as a first-time mom, although I used to think it was tiring. But I didn’t know the true meaning of “exhaustion” until I had my second child.
Adjusting to life as a family of 4 instead of 3 came with its fair share of challenges, especially with a child whose temperament is … let’s just say the total opposite of calm. If I could go back and change a few things to better prepare ourselves and Maya, I totally would. I will share my lessons learned and tips for better preparing your first child for the arrival of a sibling on a future post.
Before having kids, I had always envisioned myself to be a busy working mom that can do it all. While I got a little taste of how unrealistic that was during my time with Maya, I was still able to juggle quite a bit and felt rather proud of myself. But after having Emma and experiencing severe sleep deprivation for over 2 years (which some days felt like a form of torture to get up multiple times in the night) and having to deal with a really picky eater in addition to managing twice the extra-curricular activities now, I am practically living on the verge of insanity!
Forget thriving, most days I’m merely surviving (as a mom).
And just when Bilal and I thought we almost got a handle on raising a toddler and a kindergartner, Covid19 pandemic hit and we are still struggling to establish a new routine, especially with homeschooling. Teaching at home has not been an easy feat and having a younger sibling who doesn’t have schoolwork is causing added distraction and jealousy. Balancing a full workday from home with all the distractions, arguments, and power struggles with our kids has been emotionally exhausting.
Parenting is like a course with no graduation date in sight.
When emotions are high, especially in this new norm, we are realizing we don’t have many “positive” coping mechanisms. The traditional methods of yelling, giving time-outs or taking away toys/devices are not effective with our kids. They only lead to more arguments and more drama. So we are on a mission to learn more about conscious parenting and how to better manage emotions for both kids and adults so that we can bring back the peace and order in our home and establish a new routine.
I always knew the teenage years were going to be tough, but no one prepared me for this level of a power struggle with a 6-year old!
I intend to share helpful parenting strategies and advice on this blog as we learn and implement them. Our goal is to connect with other parents and share best practices.
What are you struggling with most these days as a parent? Comment below and let’s chat!
Maternity Photos by: Garima Singh Studios
About Us
Hi there! We’re Tahmina and Bilal – a couple on a mission to become more conscious parents and break free of old-school parenting habits so we can reduce the stress and increase the peace in our home. Our biggest goal as parents is to raise our two independent and strong-willed daughters to be good humans. We believe they can make a change in the world someday, so we’re working hard to foster creativity, empathy, and resilience in our kids while trying our very best to not tame their spirits.